Bob Newhart Names Madeleine Begun Kane Winner of Robert Benchley Society Award For Humor

Welcome to religion humor by Madeleine Begun Kane, featuring humorous verse and limericks about Christmas, Chanukah, Passover, evangelist Pat Robertson, a song parody about Bill O'Reilly's faux war on Christmas, a humor column about the Southern Baptist "graciously submit" brouhaha, and poems about holier-than-thou hawks and General Boykin's war against Satan, as well as humor about religious hypocrisy.

• Not So Light Haiku
  "Can�t help wondering
  why some who have �seen the light�
  keep spreading darkness. ..."

• What Do Jews Do On Christmas? A Limerick Explanation
  Here�s a query that�s answered with ease:
  �What do Jews do on Christmas Day, please?�
  We watch movies and read.
  Surf the Net. (Dull indeed!)
  But mostly we munch on Chinese.

• Dear Bedroom-Invading Republicans (Limerick)
  "Dear Republican pols, please abstain
  From ent�ring my bedroom domain. ..."

• Tithing-Schmithing (Limerick)
  "Let me confess up front that tithing big bucks to your church or synagogue doesn�t impress me � and not just because I�m an agnostic. In my opinion, generosity to one�s religious peer group often tends to be self-aggrandizing: �Hey, look at me � I�m a big church-macher!� ..."

• Limerick Ode To End Timers
  "Fanatics are trying to fend
  With this concept: the world�s gonna end. ..."

• Off One's Game Limerick
  "A fellow was way off his game
  And was looking for someone to blame.
  He concluded that God
  Had given the nod
  To his nemesis � talk about lame!"

• Passover Haiku
  "Passover practice:
  Cut leavening from your bread.
  Add it to your life. ..."

• AWOL Angel
  "I guess guardian angels are fine.
  I don�t know cuz I�ve never met mine ..."

• Yet Another Modest Mormon Proposal
  "I wonder what Mormons would do
  If their dead were converted to Jew..."

• Limerick Ode To �Normal� Newt Gingrich (Serial wife cheater Newt Gingrich and the so-called "War On Religion")

• A Jewish Christmas Limerick
  "You�re Jewish and feeling left out?
  We have holy days too we can tout. ..."

• A Modest Mormon Proposal (Limerick)
  "Tell Mormons they ought not to prey
  On the dead by converting them. Nay! ..."

• More Contraceptive Madness "After yesterday�s post, I�d hoped to be done with birth control commentary for a while. But then I saw this headline: Santorum Sugar Daddy Foster Friess Gives �Gals� Contraception Advice: Put An Aspirin Between Your Knees..."

• Newt's Pledge "Confessed serial adulterer Newt Gingrich has taken the Family Leader no-adultery pledge, which includes this statement..."

• Limerick Ode to Michele �Just Joking� Bachmann
  "Irene was a message from God,
  Said Michelle in a right-wingnut nod ..."

• Hillary Clinton � Bombshell? (Limerick) "By now you�ve surely heard that the Brooklyn-based Hasidic newspaper Der Tzitung �disappeared� Secretary of State Hillary Clinton and another woman from the iconic White House Situation Room photo, taken while the Osama bin Laden attack was going down..."

• Mosque Mockery? (Limerick)

• Religion Hits Bottoms (limerick about Christian Domestic Discipline (CDD) marriage
  "CDD is an odd Christian fad
  For punishing wives when they�re 'bad.' ..."

• Frankly My Dear Gaffney, You�re Nuts "Right-wing activist Frank Gaffney is at it again. His latest tin-foil hat paranoia involves the Missile Defense Agency�s website logo ..."

• Telling Tiger To Convert Just Ain�t Kosher "Up until now, I�ve avoided writing about Tiger Woods� serial philandering. But Brit Hume�s outrageous comments leave me no choice. According to Hume, if Tiger Woods wants forgiveness, he must convert from Buddhism to Christianity. ..."

• Glenn Beck, Keep Your Grubby Paws Off Yom Kippur "I may be a non-practicing Jew, but I�m deeply offended by Glenn Beck�s attempt to co-opt and politicize Yom Kippur, the holiest day of the Jewish year. ..."

• Bill O'Reilly's Faux War On Christmas Song Parody (Sing to "Get Me To The Church On Time")
  "Bill says we're waging war on Christmas,
  Spouting another Fox News lie.
  Bill's rarely proper.
  Loves telling whoppers.
  Ain't nothing that his fans won't buy..."

• Ode To Ann (ti-Semite Coulter)

• GOP Piety Song Parody (Sing to Billy Joel�s Honesty)
  �Piety is such a misused word.
  GOPers preach on cue.
  Piety � their fakery�s absurd.
  See through them and turn red to blue. ..."

• Ode To Scalia -- Limerick
  "Scalia's caught acting obscene,
  In a church yet, how shockingly mean..."

• Religious Fervor, Or Fever? "Hey, Madeleine," my husband Mark recently said. "How would you like to convert..."

• Preacher Pat -- Limerick
  "Preacher Pat once again made me groan,
  When he spoke of the ailing Sharon..."

• Pat Robertson Does Dover -- Limerick
  "The Dover folks showed their defiance,
  When they nixed ID preaching with science..."

• Two Crackpot Pats
  "A broadcasting preacher named Pat,
  Who quite frequently talks through his hat..."

• Hail To The Hawks
  "Religious talk
  Of morals and faith
  Spews forth from hawks,
  Engendering hate..."

• General Boykin's Ballad
  "We're at war against Satan?
  A startling idea!
  That explains all the hatin'
  And mongering fear..."

  (For humor organized by subject matter, I hope you'll visit my humor sections about politics, the law, media, marriage and family, holidays, technology, feminism, money, cars, education, health, pets and animals, work, travel, my home town -- New York City, Dubya's Dayly Diary, and my Notables Weblog.)

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