Are you in the mood to take a trip? You might change your mind after reading these humor columns and limericks. I hope you'll enjoy all the travel humor columns, vacation and tourist humor, limericks, and light verse by Madeleine Begun Kane.
Man In Flight "A fellow with bus�ness in Rome
Ended up on a plane ride to Nome. ..."
Time's "Flight" "It is said that �time flies,� but that�s wrong,
Cuz the flights I�ve been on take too long. ..."
Homing Limerick "I may travel and wander and roam.
For adventure, the streets I may comb. ..."
Cruising For Laughs "I learned some valuable lessons during the second annual Lewis Black Comedy Cruise: ..."
Diversion Verse "A pilot with coffee needs skills
To captain his plane without spills. ..."
My New Policy "That�s it. No more vacations! Sounds a little extreme, I know. But strange things tend to happen when my husband and I have the nerve to travel or take time off. ..."
Ode To JetBlue (Limerick) �We�re back from a wonderful vacation in Las Vegas. So I thought I�d celebrate our thirteen hour return-flight delay with a limerick: ...�
A Traveler's Net Woes "If your husband ever invites you to join him on a business trip, be sure to ask him these questions:
1. Will you ever get to see him while he is not -- technically -- asleep?
2. What will he do, if you accidentally lock yourself out of your hotel room in the middle of the night while you are not -- technically -- dressed? ..."
Vacation Verse "My husband is swimming outdoors.
I expect he�ll be back when it pours, ..."
How To Plan A Trip "A weekend trip is a splendid way to replenish your energy and deplete your bank account..."
Taking A Vacation on the Contract Plan "Planning a vacation can often be a daunting challenge. Especially when one spouse likes to rough it and the other prefers luxuries like toilets, showers, and cable TV. So what's a couple to do? Well, they can take separate trips. Or they can negotiate and sign on the dotted line..."
Tripped Up By Traveling (Limerick)
"It�s outrageous, a rip-off, a gyp
What we paid for that terrible trip. ..."
Traveling Baggage "Vacation travel. A time to relax, mellow out, let loose and forget your cares. To indulge yourself, boogie till dawn, gorge on gourmet fare. To spend an entire day shopping for a "must have" item you forgot to pack..."
Tubing Blues "Tubing - the masochistic act of hurtling down a fall-fraught river while clinging to an inner-tube. Somehow my husband Mark talked me, a devout wimp, into trying it..."
Airing My Airline Gripes (Limerick)
�To travel by plane was once pleasant,
But flying�s horrific at present. ..."
No Time To Say Hello, Goodbye (Limerick and Haiku)
"I�m late and I can�t miss this train!
It�s arrived, and I�m here, yet in vain: ..."
Commuter Woes "There once was a fellow named Wayne
Who commuted each day on the train. ...�
How To Visit An Art Museum "There are many good reasons to visit an art museum. Impressing a date. Vying for a slot in the cultural elite. Some people actually go because they appreciate art. If you're a novice art fan, this is how it's done:
1. Your virgin museum visit should take place while you're out of town. That way, your displays of ignorance will be witnessed only by strangers..."
The Madness Is Back "I've been gone for two weeks.
Did I miss something good?
Didn't keep up with the news,
Though I know that I should..."
New Yawkers Are Polite ... So There! "I'm a proud New Yorker, so I was pleased (and unsurprised) to read that a Reader's Digest poll ranks New York 'the most courteous major city in the world.'..."
Charge! (Limerick about money, travel and parenting.)
Surmounting Marriage "Before agreeing to marry my husband Mark, I asked him the usual questions..."
Going Topless "For months I resisted my husband Mark's vacation idea -- a Key West trip featuring a drive through the Keys in a rented convertible. I don't know about you, but I associate convertibles with youth and coolness. And as much as I hate to admit it, Mark and I are quite a bit beyond the former ... and seem to have skipped the latter..."
E-Mapping It Out "When my husband Mark suggested an impromptu trip to Long Island's East Hampton, I instinctively reached for a map. Then I remembered; we no longer own any maps. They were soaked beyond redemption in a flash flood that destroyed our car during our last impromptu trip. We replaced the car, but not the maps..."
Hazardous House-Guests "Has your country home been converted to an inn by people you scarcely know? Can friendship withstand a weekend stay with homeowners who long to be alone..."
When Guests Check In, But Their Cars Check Out "Sometimes a hotel stay doesn't go quite as smoothly as you'd like. I'm not talking about a room that isn't as nice or clean as you expected. I'm not even talking about lost reservations, a lousy view, or finding a dead body under your bed..."
Revel With A Clause "Your closest friends keep badgering you to join them on a trip. You're running out of excuses and may be forced to go along. Can friendship survive seven days of constant contact? Will you loathe each other by the time you return..."
