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HANDLING HARVEY


Madeleine Begun Kane
 
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DUBYA'S DAYLY DIARY    POLITICAL HUMOR    MUSIC HUMOR    NOTABLES WEBLOG

CHENEY: Good morning, Mr. President. We need to discuss the Pitt problem. If anybody asks, we're mulling over the idea of asking Harvey to resign. (Wink, wink)

DUBYA: But I like Harvey. More important -- our pals like Harvey. What's the matter with yur eye?

CHENEY: There's nothing wrong with my eye! If anybody asks, we're mulling over the idea of asking Pitt to resign. (Wink, wink)

DUBYA: I just told ya -- I'm not dumpin Harvey! Ya really should get that eye looked at.

CHENEY: My eye's fine, damn it! Look! We're not dumping the guy. We're just mulling over the idea of asking him to resign. (Wink, wink)

DUBYA: Does it hurt?

CHENEY: What?

DUBYA: Yur eye. Does it hurt?

CHENEY: No! But you're giving me chest pains.

DUBYA: Like I keep tellin ya, ya really need ta start workin that treadmill.

CHENEY: Who the hell has time for treadmills? Okay, you really need to pay attention to this.

DUBYA: Ta what?

CHENEY: Let's start over. What's happening Tuesday?

DUBYA: That's easy! It's me & Laura's silver weddin anniversary.

CHENEY: Right, but what else happens on Tuesday?

DUBYA: Did I show ya the great present I got fer her?

CHENEY: Several times. Now we need ta move on.

DUBYA: Dya think she'll like it?

CHENEY: Wives always appreciate sculptures of their husbands. Now we really need to...

DUBYA: I was plannin ta keep it at the ranch. But maybe it should stay right here in the Oval and keep me & Churchill company.

CHENEY: Whatever...

DUBYA: What's a good spot fer it?

CHENEY: I don't give a flying...

DUBYA: Hey Karl, how's tricks?

ROVE: Fine, Mr. President. Dick, did you talk to him about our Pitt problem?

CHENEY: Yes, but I didn't get anywhere. Maybe you should...

ROVE: Mr. President, where are you going?

DUBYA: I'm late fer my mornin workout.

ROVE: Hold on a sec, Mr. President. We need to talk about Pitt. Don't bring the subject up, of course. But if anybody asks, we're mulling over asking for Pitt's resignation.

DUBYA: Like I already told Dick -- I'm not dumpin Harvey!

ROVE: Look, the election's tight. The Pitt/Webster thing's hurting us. We just need to look like we're taking this thing seriously till after the election.

DUBYA: But we can't dump...

ROVE: We're not dumping. We're mulling dumping.

DUBYA: But I like...

ROVE: Okay, let's try this: If anyone asks you about Pitt, just say you remain committed to cracking down on corporate crime. Can you do that?

DUBYA: No problemo! What didn't you say so the first time? Hey, check out the great gift I got Laura!


© November 2, 2002 Madeleine Begun Kane. All Rights Reserved.

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