In the wake of Oprah's announcement that she's terminating her popular book club, the publishing industry has sustained yet another crushing blow: Mad Kane, Dubya Channeler & host of MadKane.com, has announced that she will not launch a book club.
"I thought long and hard about this," Mad Kane said, "because public figures have a responsibility to encourage reading. Plus President Bush seems to think reading is good, and failing to support any Bush mission is, arguably, a terrorist act."
Warming to the topic, Mad Kane continued: "Moreover, as Dubya's diarist, my responsibility is even greater. And I know that if I recommended a book, five or perhaps even ten people would buy that book and maybe even read it. At the very least, they'd fondle it in the library."
But despite her obvious passion for literature, a Mad Kane book club isn't in the cards. She explains: "As much as I'd like to exercise my influence for the public good, I just don't have the time and staff to handle the outpouring of press releases and pleas from authors and press agents I'd surely get if I launched a book club. Plus all those free books would take up way too much room. And, let's face it, most books suck big time."
When word leaked out that there won't be a Mad Kane book club, the impact was immediate. Publishers greeted the news with what can only be described as perturbed confusion mixed with brave determination: This response from one publishing CEO, who requested anonymity, was typical: "Who the hell is Mad Kane? Is she someone I should know? Dinner's on me, if you'll give me her fax number."
When asked what books she'd recommend if she did have a book club, Mad Kane said, "I'm not sure. However, I hear that the latest from some gal named Hillary isn't half-bad.
But when pressed for a more personal recommendation, Mad Kane said, "Who has time to read?"